So long since I posted anything here. Nothing surprising about that - given that for the past three years since I left college, my priorities have changed. My tastes (food, people (?)), career opportunities and aspirations, personal dreams, and even daily preoccupations have changed significantly over the last three years.
Three years in college life didn't even seem to have any bearing. Oh right, I was the school-house-mall once in a while type of kid. Makes me wonder if college had a time space warp continuum thing going on around it.
Yesterday, I was pondering if I would graduate at all since I flunked PE. Nowadays, I am pondering on ways to earn more money, advance my career, think how can I really pursue my dreams and so on and so forth. Life outside college is really overwhelming.
There are some things I missed doing. There are things that I know I want to do but couldn't find the time to do. There are things that I simply want to forget thinking about.
Yeah yeah, I'm gonna write down another list. Jeez, I'm getting too predictable...
I missed drawing. As in drawing things out of nothing. My friend told me I should practice or else I'll lose it. I laughed and told him what a joke he is. Guess the joke's on me. I miss the creative power I used to have. Now I feel like my talent never happened...
I missed simpler things in life. The time when all I worried about was what party should I write about and what project would the team be handling in the next quarter...
.. but thinking of that reminds me of events I don't want to remember. Sad times when my previous boss was still around. May her soul rot in hell and her fat belly squirm with maggots while she lives still.
I want to buy a lot of things. Ever since my first paycheck, I want to spend every cent of it. Travel, food, entertainment, food, books, food and more food...
.. which leads me to pine for a higher position. So I can earn more. Call it shallow, call it juvenile. Hey, if you worked for it, why shouldn't you spend it?
Freebies. Those things come once in a blue moon...
Walk talks. Sometimes the profoundest words you'll ever hear can come from the person walking right besides you.
L'esprit d'escalier moments. I missed having those times and more than that...
Tabula rasa moments. The calm after the unquiet inside your head. When suddenly everything becomes clear and you know what step to take..
Contentment. Events or situations where you just can't help but smile because you know you have everything what you want. A really big stupid grin that scares the shit out of people. Hahahahah!