It just dawned on me that I never posted any pic about my life at work. Duh.

Here are some pics from the 2nd ACES Annual Awards last June 28, 2008. Underneath the glamor and hype lies mayhem, confusion, a VP breathing down your neck, an invisible committee, battered teammates, and a badly beaten project lead named me. Hah.



I'm wearing a crappy coat because mine was lent to a very panicky host.



Feeling Red Carpet:With Ms. Olie Ularte (Program Manager), Herms, and Sir Gerry



The Cast: From left -- Jucs, Vargee, isang naliligaw na Action Star, Boss (Ba)Ding, Herms, Bonjing, Sir Gerry, Beckylyn, and Ms. Jaidz (VP-HR)

I'm suffering lately from insomnia. On weekends, I can't sleep at night. When I get to sleep though, I sleep half the day away. When I wake up, there's a gnawing feeling that I just wasted time again.

Right now, I should be sleeping like any normal professional (?!) who works the daily 8-5 grind. But noooo. I'm sleep deprived yet again. And what do you do when you find yourself awake in the wee morning hours? You blog. About how miserably fucked your life is right now. Or how you can't seem to wake up out of the clouds you put yourself into. You blog about how one year passed and everything seems like a bad joke.

....
....

I just had a talk with one of my officemates last weekend. With a few hours to spare before we jump into another quarterly party hosted by the President, we talked about things that will happen in the next quarter.

The cat freak called Herms (I called her that since she was biologically female but male in principle) basically laid out the course of the future for the magazine that we were handling. I just listened. Listened like a sobered up junkie who's being read his sentence. I kept quiet even if I wanted to cut her short and tell her, "Better tell this things to the new staff because I'm resigning pretty soon."

The hours progressed as more people came in, beer kept flowing and more people getting drunk and giddy. I was feeling blank once again. In the middle of the party, I was feeling nothing.

....
.....

I wanted to believe that this is all a bad dream.

Part of me wanted to wake up, wishing that this was just a very bad dream. Wishing that 2007 didn't happen. Part of me was looking down at me, sneering "Jeez, the joke's on you!" with condescending gusto.

This is an illusion, a well crafted phantasmagoria that one can no longer distinguish the real from the imagined.

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Wake up and smell the rotten eggs, dork.

1. Were you named after anyone?
An angel

2. When was the last time you cried?
Over a miscalculation. Bwahahahaha

3. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. It's cursive with nasty hooks and angry swashes.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Humba.

5. Do you have kids?
Nada.

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you?
No.

7. Do you use sarcasm?
Hinde (kidlat!)

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes.

9. Would you bungee jump?
No.

10. What is your favorite cereal?
None.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes.

12. Do you think you are strong? compared to what?
Yes. In another dimension, I am an aged kung-fu master who gouges out eyeballs for fun.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?
Chocolate chip

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their face.

15. Red or pink?
Red

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself?
That I exist.
.
17. Who do you miss the most?
A bigger paycheck and less, mind-boggling stress to deal with.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?
No.

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Dirty black shorts and rubber tiradors.

20. What was the last thing you ate?
MSG snacks

21. What are you listening to right now?
Aquarium filter

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
White

23. Favorite smells?
Clothes fresh from the laundromat

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Officemate

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I dunno know. I just ripped this from someone else's blog

26. Favorite sports to watch?
Nada.

27. Hair color?
Dirty black

28. Eye color?
Black

29. Do you wear contacts?
NO

30. Favorite food?
Humba.

31. Scary movies or happy endings?
Sad endings.

32. Last movie you watched?
Kung Fu Panda

33. What color shirt are you wearing?
White

34. Favorite season?
Christmas season

35. Hugs or kisses?
Lick... Ahahahahhahaahaha!

36. Favorite dessert?
Yema

37. Most likely to respond?
Huh?

38. Least likely to respond?
Ambot da

39. What book are you reading now?
None

40. What is on your mouse pad?
err.. the mouse?

41. What did you watch on tv last night?
Nada. Don't get to watch TV anymore.

42. Favorite sound?
Ocean waves lapping lazily on the shore

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
The Beatles

44. What is the farthest you have been from home?
Surigao

45. What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subject?
Lunch

46. If you could spend a whole day with any one historical figure, who would it be?
Bezalel

47. You're driving your car late at night and come to a red light. If there are no cars in either direction, do you stop?
I'd run.

48. Do you have a special talent?
Yeah. I can fuckup anything without trying hard. Hahaha!

49. Where were you born?
In a hospital that no longer exists

50. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?
Bored people who still takes time to look at this blog.

Already things are ready to explode -- just waiting for a tiny wrong action. One wrong step, then blackout. Panic. And all fingers will single out the root cause once more.

I am scared. Not of the event that will happen on Sunday. It's already a given that the powers be will make last minute changes - to hell if it will ruin the flow of things. It's already nature to them.

I am scared of what my status will be after this event. Will it still be the same? Will things resume back to normality -- and just wait again until the storm resumes once more? Or will change come, positive change, that I hope for be in my hand's reach this time?

Pessimism had always been my cup of tea. But somewhere in my tangled thoughts, I still believe that there's always light. And I know I have to run for it and seek the light.

You are Death

Change, Transformation, Alteration.

People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the best indicators for it. Whatever happens, life will be different. Yes, the Death card can signal a death in the right circumstances (a question about a very sick or old relative, for example), but unlike its dramatic presentation in the movies, the Death card is far more likely to signal transformation, passage, change. Scorpio, the sign of this card, has three forms: scorpion, serpent, eagle. The Death card indicates this transition from lower to higher to highest. This is a card of humility, and it may mean you have been brought low, but only so that you can then go higher than ever before. Death "humbles" all, but it also "exults." Always keep in mind that on this card of darkness there is featured a sunrise as well. You could be ready for a change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.