So long since I posted anything here. Nothing surprising about that - given that for the past three years since I left college, my priorities have changed. My tastes (food, people (?)), career opportunities and aspirations, personal dreams, and even daily preoccupations have changed significantly over the last three years.

Three years in college life didn't even seem to have any bearing. Oh right, I was the school-house-mall once in a while type of kid. Makes me wonder if college had a time space warp continuum thing going on around it.

Yesterday, I was pondering if I would graduate at all since I flunked PE. Nowadays, I am pondering on ways to earn more money, advance my career, think how can I really pursue my dreams and so on and so forth. Life outside college is really overwhelming.

There are some things I missed doing. There are things that I know I want to do but couldn't find the time to do. There are things that I simply want to forget thinking about.

Yeah yeah, I'm gonna write down another list. Jeez, I'm getting too predictable...

1. I missed drawing. As in drawing things out of nothing. My friend told me I should practice or else I'll lose it. I laughed and told him what a joke he is. Guess the joke's on me. I miss the creative power I used to have. Now I feel like my talent never happened...
   
2. I missed simpler things in life. The time when all I worried about was what party should I write about and what project would the team be handling in the next quarter...
3. .. but thinking of that reminds me of events I don't want to remember. Sad times when my previous boss was still around. May her soul rot in hell and her fat belly squirm with maggots while she lives still.
4. I want to buy a lot of things. Ever since my first paycheck, I want to spend every cent of it. Travel, food, entertainment, food, books, food and more food...
   
5. .. which leads me to pine for a higher position. So I can earn more. Call it shallow, call it juvenile. Hey, if you worked for it, why shouldn't you spend it?
   
6. Freebies. Those things come once in a blue moon...
   
7. Walk talks. Sometimes the profoundest words you'll ever hear can come from the person walking right besides you.
8. L'esprit d'escalier moments. I missed having those times and more than that...
9. Tabula rasa moments. The calm after the unquiet inside your head. When suddenly everything becomes clear and you know what step to take..
10. Contentment. Events or situations where you just can't help but smile because you know you have everything what you want. A really big stupid grin that scares the shit out of people. Hahahahah!

My original post got lost suddenly. Cheap technology.. crap.

In essence, here's a rundown of my thoughts at the moment.


I got promoted to a senior staff level. I was close to snagging a specialist post but I was too late and too soon. Two days late and too soon to be promoted to a higher level since my promotion papers were still being processed. No, my boss isn't keen on policy exemptions either. So was I. Fair's fair I guess. It's not exactly the one I wanted but hey, something is better than nothing at all.

I am happy with my current work -- ISO and business process analysis. The possibilities that these two disciplines can open, in my opinion, are endless. Geek talk as this may sound, I don't give a poop.

For the first time in the job that I consider my Gehinom, I was now ascending to purgatory. Work still come in packs and unexpectedly at times but I'm getting good at it. The stress level is now tolerable compared to the scorching blaze last year. Add the fact that the fat bitch (aka my former boss) from hell was still in this country then. Now, I'm just welcoming all the stress. With a stupid jerk smile on my face and Muse'sSuper Massive Blackhole pounding in my heart.*

I am looking forward to getting promoted again next year. As greedy as I may sound right now, I believe this is something worth racing for. After all, the road to becoming someone doesn't start with yellow bricked paths. It's the shifting sand paths of the Sahara for you. Or Nan Dungortheb if you like to wax Tolkien for the moment. Whatever you may call it, the way is harsh. But the end of it is really worth all the trouble.

I can't wait for next year. I feel like a weary traveller scanning the sky outside the Inn at the World's End, seeing the future events unfold in the horizon.




I can't wait. Oh yes, I can't wait.







* Note: If this song reminds you of Twilight the answer is no, I'm not a Twilight fan. I don't see anything good/worth remembering about the movie or the book. I was already a Muse fan waaay before the producers used the band's songs as the movie OST.

It's been a long time since I've enjoyed reading a book. Of course, I still can't get enough of Gaiman tomes. So it's a nice thing that my favorite authors is friends with another well known sci-fi writer -- Mr. Terry Pratchett. I consider this book as my transition book from the world of the Dreaming and the Endless to another fantasy world.

The world is ending so they say. And it will end on a Saturday mind you. Next Saturday. Seas are boiling, the Four Horsemen are out, the Antichrist is already at someone's doorstep and the armies of good and evil are amassing for the one big fight. All is running right, according to divine plan -- not!

An avid book collecting angel and a techno savvy demon join up to thwart the Armageddon and kill the Antichrist before its too late -- simply because they're already enjoying their Earthbound lives close to 6 millenia. But how can they kill the Antichrist who's such a sweet kid afterall? Hahaha!

I'm over the moon over this book! it's a fun poke at Judgement Day and Gaiman and Pratchett surely knows how to deliver. Dry humor, sprinkled generously with sarcasm, angels, demons, witches, witch hunters and witty asides = classic!

You can see Starbucks anywhere you might go. In Makati alone, there's almost always a Starbucks in every corner. They're like mushrooms.. or even Jollibee.

A dumb thought.

Sometime soon in the near future, Jollibee and Starbucks will merge as one. Now you can have the best of both worlds:

"One Chicken Mocha Frapuccino, with extra sauce coming up!"

Opportunity knocks only but once.

Missing those opportunities will back fire against you in the future. They're called regrets...

Once again I find myself scouring the search engines of Jobstreet and Jobsdb. Waiting is really a taxing job - compared to really working on the job.  Sheesh if waiting was a real job, people would have earned millions just doing it. Then again, that cannot happen.

I'm resigning because of many reasons. Most of these reasons are a horrible hybrid of professional and personal reasons and bad experiences in the past.

Salary. What else? The company has a very primitive compensation package compared to the market. Most people my age working in the same profession in a BPO earns twice what I get every cutoff. And working with that kind of compensation is really hurtful given the daily expenses I incur. I spend 90 pesos everyday for a trip from home to Ayala and vise versa. Even if I pack my own lunch to cut back on costs, I still end up saving nothing for myself.

Training. Trainings are limited. The company believes you can get far with PhP 800 per head a year for training. Yegads, what iota of learning will you get with that kind of budget? It is understandable the company is scrimping on training expenses.. if they can provide a good alternative. Unfortunately, even internal trainings are very limited.. given the subject matter experts available or even a person competent enough to teach you a thing or two relevant to your work.

Opportunities. The choices are endless. None of them however, interests me anymore. This is somehow tied up with the training factor. It is true that there is fairly wide smorgasbord of careers within the company. However, YOU have to make your own way to reach that position and make your own way again learning the ropes of the position. The company believes in throwing someone in the middle of the ocean and praying to heavens that you'll learn how to swim. I wonder if they also know what setting up for failure means.. Or guidance... Oh right, they don't. They don't know both.

Experience. I have a lot. I gained alot in more than a year here than in my previous call center. I also gained a lot of scars, scars that were hard to heal and even harder to erase. Fucking up a major project was the first. Simply because my bosses then decided to give the project to an unfortunate newbie named me, who knew nothing of the company policies on procurement, knew nothing of video editing or script writing, who barely knew everyone in the company when the project required knowing important names and personalities because this was an awards night - the first ever in the industry. And the best part of this project? They blame me for their mistake. Huwaw. Talk about judgement.... Leche..

It was hard to regain trust within the section I belonged to after the event. Call it paranoia but I believe the experience has turned me into the butt of all jokes. No matter how much they tell "joke lang", it still reminds me how bad the experience was. The jokes were not funny. It's other permutations were way worse than the ones directly related to it.

The second one was worse. You can forget anyone in the team. But forgetting employee no. 3 is by far the worst. If you want to know the details, shoot me a message. I can discuss the details over coffee (it's on me, don't worry) and you'll get more than just a simple yarn.

yeah, it's that horrible I can't even post it here.

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Someone told me that I shouldn't take everything personally. Apota, I work my ass off in everything I do, how do you think you can separate your personality from your work?....

 I still have a long way before I master that discipline. For now, all I can do is minimize my ranting.

And so I scour the pages of Jobstreet and Jobsdb. Everyday. Everynight.






Looking for a job, hoping to start a clean slate.